Not to be majorly braggies but I have kind of rocked it on my daily writing goal. I reopened the Unpopped manuscript and got smacked in the brainussy with a rush of writing serotonin. Now I am in a routine of walking to the Starbucks after work and writing until the sun sets (so, for like 2ish hours). My goal is to write three full pages, but because I have found myself exceeding those expectations.
It’s been an absolutely increds daily routine and I’ve even made some new friends at the Starbs community table (besties are made by sharing outlets <3).
I’m still clawing and scraping my way around the Milwaukee area for a therapist. The main girlie I want still has me on her waitlist (she just emailed an update a few days ago to let me know that she hadn’t blocked my number and was just booked and busy).
I had a headache today. I’m crossing every finger that this doesn’t escalate into a migraine because I really can’t handle a complete loss of autonomy and joy again. I’ve been really bad at taking care of myself this past week. I keep putting off getting groceries and waking up pissed that I don’t have food. It’s a tale as old as time…
What else is new with me?
I’ve decided that maybe I kind of love working in schools? I like hanging out with kids and being there when they learn new things. I’m actually addicted to all of my kids because they’re so cute and smart so my newest career move is that I am applying for a substitute teaching license in the state of Wisconsin and grad school to get my MSW!
God, please shine your light on me because I would love to be a substitute teacher at the school I tutor at next year. I feel like I already know most of the kids at the school and would j’adore continuing to get to know them. I’m also excited to be in a classroom again.
Whenever I envision my substitute teacher escapade I see Jack Black in School of Rock. I don’t know SHITE about rock and roll but I can teach them about stand-up comedy or a very introductory understanding of queer theory. Maybe we'll make zines.
I’m still trying how to figure out how to navigate classroom management. As Ilana Glazer famously said to an accountant in an episode of Broad City, “Who yells?”
Iconically I probs shouldn’t teach stand-up comedy because I’m kind of in my coward-ess era (take me back to my comedienne era!!!). I have gotten in a gorgeous weekly practice where I attend a stand-up mic every week, chit-chat with a few comedians in the back of the room, and make a million promises to actually perform the set NEXT week (the punchline is–next week never comes!).
Now I’m hosting a trivia show during the time of the open mic and will have to decide if I want to hustle my hoofies so I can make it to the end of the open mic or if I should just give up on this pipe dream of ever being a famously funny girl. Maybe I’ll teach my kids how to give up on their dreams!
JK!!!
I know I have a set inside me I just need to grant myself grace and confiDENCE to like...perform it? Maybe I need to reread an American Girl book about loving your body because right now this is just simply not it. I’m nauseous at the mere thought of being perceived by a room full of strangers.
Obviously, the worst-case scenario is that they don’t laugh and text their friends that a really unfunny uggo just hogged a mic for five minutes. BUT I also need to make space for a reality where the audience roars with laughter and texts their group chats about wanting to eff me!
Even though it’s way comfier to gatekeep our hotness by staying in our rooms all day, we have to let that scary light in and leave them every now and then.
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