Hey there lovers.
It’s winter and I am a sleepy bear.
Two weeks ago I bought Amtrak tickets to Chicago at 3 am. I was drunk and had been reading The Lonely City by Olivia Laing and forgot how to romanticize Milwaukee.
Impulsive trips are a must for me because I'm a sagittarius AND I don't know what to do with my life.
I’m a licensed substitute teacher, going to grad school for social work in the fall, keep telling myself that I’ll start going to stand up open mics again, AND I’m in the middle of editing an application for the commune down the street.
My goals are disjointed and aspirational at best.
I needed skyscrapers and anonymity STAT (plus I wasn’t seeing my new therapist for another week).
I’m not the first twenty-something to say that we need to revitalize and repopularize public transportation but it has to be done!! Pete Buttigieg, you will never be famous (until and unless you funnel government funding into public transit).
I hate paying attention to anything and buses/trains/streetcars allow me to listen to Grimes songs and zone out until my vision blurs. It’s my ideal state of being.
Now that I’m back on social media after a pretty uneventful 30 days I'm wondering if I will ever start acting like an adult. I keep forgetting to buy groceries and then come home from a midday workout absolutely ravenous. My struggle meals have become cries for help (I’ve reached the handfuls-of-shredded-cheese-as-a-snack phase of "woman in crisis").
I want to be the kind of person that makes her coffee at home and genuinely believes that food tastes better homemade. But...I keep finding myself browsing Uber Eats hoping a TikToker’s discount code still works (they never do).
Because of this “quarter-life crisis,” I am going to rearrange this blog’s format. I think weekly prose is kind of burdensome right now. Which makes me sad but also allows for new opportunities!! #synergy #growthmindset I miss my Substack’s format of recommended content and sharing in weekly delights. I think this blog will become that style of writing.
Yes, I’m bravely reclaiming the listicle. It is an unprecedented 180º transition never seen before in the literary world.
The new blog format is still going to be weekly—DONT WORRY.
I’m trying to figure out what day of the week is best for “publishing” for me. Every day of the week is its own little nightmare. I’d divulge in the details of each day’s schedule but a man followed me on the bus two days ago and while it’s extremely unlikely that anyone toying with the idea of stalking me is on my poorly trafficked blog I don’t want to make it any easier to track me down.
Here’s a taste of the new format…
Readz
So.
Since this is the first installation of Readz I’m treating this week as a catchall for the books I’ve read (so far) in 2022.
If you want to follow my reading journey here’s my Goodreads. PLEASE lmk if you want me to read a book. I’m always trolling for TBR suggestions. Future editions will have more of a review/discussion format. I’ll try to include articles and essays as much as I include books in future posts!
This book made me want to be a skinny hot girl in New York City in 2015 (and believe me it took A LOT of convincing). I’m definitely a SIMP to the male gaze but listening to the audiobook version of the main character’s flirting techniques was a masterclass in getting attention. The entire time reading it felt like spending time with a cool older sister or cousin.
Genuinely one of the best books I’ve ever read. I finished the whole thing in one day and even had to call my mom in the middle of it to make sure she would read it. She was late to work because she didn’t want to stop reading it. You HAVE to check it out if you want to pick at the scabs of your mother wound.
Maybe the best/most important book ever written. I want to make it a tradition to read this book at least once every year. I feel like I’m going to constantly be returning to this text (especially when I don't get texts back and need a review of what the definition of love is).
Last spring I took a six-week course on secondary trauma while working at a non-profit organization and the syllabus was centered around this book. There are definitely parts where it’s supportive of the US justice system (both judges and cops are lauded as caretakers…) but the practical advice in this book is invaluable and I've already implemented some of the techniques.
Famously my gay lit class’s most recent book club book. It took me forever to actually get into but once you’re in you are IN. It’s so sexy and fun and FUNNY. Definitely recommending reading it instead of listening to the audiobook. I had way more fun that way.
Reading, Writing, and Racism: Disrupting Whiteness in Teacher Education and in the Classroom by Bree Picower
Gay lit book club’s current book. I read it in one train ride. Similar to All About Love I’m going to try and reread this book once (maybe twice) a year. It is a brilliant reflection on abolitionism and community.
This book was FAR too relatable. ESPECIALLY after reading her first collection about being a 25-year-old chronically single girl and her fictional book about a closeted high schooler. I’ve convinced myself that Katie Heaney and I would be besties if we had the chance to hang out. Exploring my queerness and sexuality is definitely going to be a big topic for future therapy sessions (Elyse and Mary you just dropped something…your jaws!!).
Mediaz
This section is gonna be filled with TikToks, video essays, YouTube videos, TV shows, and movies that I’ve been watching plus the podcasts and playlists that I’ve been listening to. I hate to say it but the TV shows are mostly going to be Claire McHugh originals (aka things she’s been telling me to watch for months). Similar to the Readz section I will try and share my opinions about the things that I list but this week is already kind of clunky so I’m just going to list what I’m watching right now.
Memez
This is the image-heavy section where I post the memes that I’ve been spamming my group chats and private stories with. If you don’t feel like reading you can scroll to here to get the general temperature of the week. Or, if you read all the way to here these will be your visual rewards.
Thotz
Finally, there will be a closing thoughts section where I'll brain dump everything that hasn’t been covered. I’ll talk about dating, sex (!), friendship, career goals, school, and just about everything else that can go on in a person’s life.
And that’s it loverz!
See you next week💖
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