I hope you’re all prepared for the obnoxiousness of this week’s blog post.
Even though I told my group chats that I wouldn’t post a formal resignation from social media, I decided that I HAVE to share with y’all because you may be wondering why I am discussing such untimely topics (Bill Hader and Anna Kendrick???) and using photos that would be better served on a private story.
This sabbatical from being Online came about because I tested positive for Coronavirus on Tuesday, January 18th, and knew that I would lose my mind from FOMO.
I’ve also realized that silly little memes have become a coping mechanism that allows me to escape the pain of living in a fugly little body in a big mean world. If I’m only the sum of my social media presence then I only have to feel high (getting likes) or numb (doom scrolling). I’m also able to evade accountability (to my relationships, emotions, and politics) if my online avatar is a brandable delight that says just the right thing! (Also I'm purely speaking for me. I famously struggle with extremes of things so this is just what makes sense for MOI.)
I’m clearly itching to share every last little thought so here are my realizations from my week of IRL quarantine:
1) bell hooks’ All About Love says everything that’s ever needed to be said and I can’t tell if it’s worth it to annotate anymore because I’ve just underlined basically every sentence and texted full pages to Rose, Drake, Elyse, and Mary.
2) Music is way more enjoyable if you play it out loud (I definitely have damaged my eardrums because I normally wear earbuds 24/7) and stare at the ceiling or out a window and try to not catastrophize the fact that you’ve wasted so much of your one precious life on a screen in an attempt to win the rat race towards nothing (cue the John Mulaney joke where his ex-wife Anna Marie Tendler tells him that he acts like he’s running for the mayor of nothing). My favorite song right now is Bad Friend by Rina Sawayama.
3) I think the year of our Lord 2018 was my personal peak because I was both vegan and a first-year skateboarder with a Gucci belt that someone else bought for me. God is it embarrassing to peak in Ohio?
4) My favorite thing to do right now is listen to Caleb Hearon's interviews. Every time he talks about coming of age as a comedian in Chicago I want to rededicate myself to comedy and you know what? I think I just might. Who wants to workshop jokes together and go to open mics with me?! I need to stop talking about it and DEWETTE.
5) And…finally…I got into grad school. This means I’m for sure living in Milwaukee for another two years and will probably be a social worker at some point???? I really can’t believe it. I’m excited to have forced friendships again. Not that I don’t love my work friends–but there isn’t as much required hanging out outside of work as there usually is in a school setting (love em or hate em group projects at least require an exchange of phone numbers).
So, those are the thoughts that were swirling around my little head. I became nocturnal at one point (went to bed at 7 am and woke up at 3 pm like a fully functioning adult). I read The Push by Ashley Audrain and it was terrifying and addicting. I finished it in one day. I want everyone to read it so we can dissect Violet’s actions together. My mom is begging all of her other mom friends to read it. Reese Witherspoon definitely gets Google Alerts every time a woman over 30 adds a book to her Goodreads so it’s gonna hit her radar soon if it hasn’t already.
Well, I’m gonna go eat a Greek salad and transcribe podcast episodes to group chats even though Bridget Kamper said, “Sarah you know we can just listen to the podcast.”
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