end of an era

As of today, I have twenty-four more days in El Paso :( It’s pervy because I’ve spent most of my time in the Sun City bouncing between my bedroom (wink wink), carpool, and work. The only times I deviated from that quarantine routine was when I would scream-sing WAP during a drive through the Franklin Mountains or work up the energy to walk through Walmart like it was a minefield of social distancing.

Now that I’m vaccinated by the limited edition designer Johnson & Johnson, it feels like an entirely new cavern of El Paso has opened up. I’ve had the chance to attend in-person open mics, go dancing, and laugh with friends I’d only Zoomed with until a few weeks ago. Honestly, I didn’t even Zoom with them! Elyse did!

Time is a cruel cunt because I’m clawing for more of it. You’ve probably noticed the quality in my blog posts decreasing. If you say anything about it though I’ll cry tears of blood and start writing fan fiction (which weirdly I’ve never done before but I just found out that Sara Shepard wrote Pretty Little Liars fan fiction that is allegedly canon! It’s $2.99 and you bet your ass I bought it). I’ve even taken an unintentional sabbatical from Unpopped–not forever–I just need to find myself! And writing 600 words a day from the perspective of a 21-year-old is not helping me mature past that age ATM. I’ve spent over a year living in my own head (some people would argue that’s where everyone lives) and I finally have the chance to step out of my own navel-gazing skull and feel the rain on my skin!

I’m trying to Cam Jansen (did anyone else read those books about the little detective bitch with a camera brain) the days I have left here. I’ve developed a parasocial relationship with the cat carcass on the side of the road and think that the cockroaches are gorgeous reminders that it’s okay to hate God’s creatures and wish them dead!

Obviously, the friendships I’ve built here aren’t going to end the minute my hair frizzes up because it’s soaked in humidity again, but my chest is quaking anyway! Is it soooo crazy to want to have fun and love life??? Literally, sue me and then lose the case so I can use the out-of-court settlement to pay for the lifestyle I’m not gonna work for. This is a clickbait statement because I was told in a recent Instagram poll that I’m provocative. I called my dad yesterday for this made-up holiday they call “Father’s Day” – JK dad ily! My father is extremely worried that Drake and I’s podcast is going to embody the style of Shock Jockey Rush Limbaugh. I’m not promising anything!