an attempt at eliminating dread

So, I’m kind of feeling like I should make an attempt at embodying the traditional blawg format. My FBI agent knows that I “have” a “blog” because whenever I go on Pinterest (call me cheugy and I’ll throw up monogrammed barf all over your timelessly chic coolness) all I see are infographics about popular blog topics I should probably be writing about if I want to boost my search engine optimization (this is one of many phrases I chose to never know about when I swore off business majors).

No one wants to know what I’m wearing (except for the OOTD Snapchat group I’m a part of). No one should know what I’m eating (a mix of Annie’s mac and cheese, bagels, and frozen pineapple smoothies when our blender feels like working). But, I’m tempted to share a little “how to” on eliminating dread because I’m famously coming out the other side of a minor depressie epi. So, I’m going to give y’all a diary entry?

This little thang wasn’t anything dramatic. I just “seemed” “off” to anyone I spent time with and I never wanted to leave my bed. It wasn’t all bad because I finished five books in four days and beat my 2048 high score (yes, I made it to 8192). Maybe I’m an excellent actress and should be nominated for whatever awards show hasn’t been classified as completely corrupt and irrelevant yet. I’ve been on Lexapro for two years. I wash down 20 mg every day with iced coffee because I’m #trendy #relevant. As my best friend Drake would say, “save it for the pod.”

Now that I have a blog, newsletter, and exhausted all of my socials, the next logical step is starting a podcast with my best friend. It’s a terribly beautiful decision to go into creative “business” with your bestie. Drake already told me to return my microphone because it was a USB and then right after I dropped it off at UPS they told me that USB mics were actually fine and they were unable to find the TikTok that had said otherwise. Kind of gorgeous right?

Absolutely everyone is asking what the premise of the pod will be, and I honestly can’t think of anything other than “two friends talking.” We’ve brainstormed a million names (we will be chased out of the recording studio by Italians if one of the names comes to fruition). I think we’ve come up with so many names that we might make the episode titles different names we came up with.

Drake doesn’t like podcasts that have guests, but I am obsessed with everyone in our lives so I told them they don’t have to listen to our podcast! This revelation shook them to the core. I think I’m going to win this one the same way they won the microphone fight--reluctantly.

If anyone has any advice about starting a podcast please hit my line. We’re probably going to use the Anchor app and are still trying to figure out the whole mic setup. Every XLR microphone is like four hundred dollars and claims to be whatever Joe Rogan uses. I don’t have the money or emotional energy for that.

I’m different from everyone in the world because finances are one of my biggest stressors and one of my small joys in life is getting coffee. I’ve tried to do the whole “make a yummy coffee at home,” but there is something spiritual that is the journey of leaving the house to sit at a too-small patio table. It evokes a romantic main character feeling that borders on delusion. Maybe Drake and I should make our podcast about iced coffee?

Don’t tell my service year but my tax return hit and I spent $100 tipping drag queens at Touch Bar El Paso. I put this as necessary spending in my budget. It’s not sustainable, but it was incredibly fun while it was happening. Life’s kind of gorgeous that way.

This whole post is kind of a mess because I am switching up my writing style and decided to increase the frequency of “posts.” Please forgive me for being experimental and brave and treating this blog like a group chat. I’m pretty sure people thought Walt Whitman should’ve saved it for his pen pal too.