the worst person in the world

Instead of posting an Instagram poll, I’ve decided to write a quick blog post. I just watched The Worst Person in the World and need to talk about it.

I didn’t know this movie existed until someone on TikTok told me to watch it (if the TT algorithm was easier to navigate I’d hyperlink the video but just know that I’m telling the truth).

This weekend was the perfect rainy weekend to watch a two-hour-long movie about a Norwegian woman coming of age as she turns thirty even though she doesn’t know what she wants out of life. I forgot to take my meds (Wellbutrin and Lexapro—I know Elon Musk is shaking) on Thursday and it set off a soft launch spiral.

Rosie, Drake, and I went to the Milwaukee Zine Fest on Saturday. It was so cool seeing so many Milwaukee artists in one space and the Central Branch library is truly stunning. I spent more than a week’s worth of groceries on harm reduction workbooks and queer zines. This financial decision is not practical because I have been unable to read anything longer than a Tweet and I already have six library books checked out.

Famously when I am fiscally irresponsible it forces me to reflect on the past and all the ways that I am a bad person.

So, I decided to stay in on Saturday and sit in this sadness. Some would call this self-sabotage but my life’s work is avoidance so I figured I’d listen to my therapist for once and analyze what feelings are surfacing right now.

Essentially I’m at a crossroads because I just started my bartender job and reflecting on the past two years. A week ago someone asked me if I’d ever considered narrowing my focus when it comes to career and interests (they also asked me if I’d ever return to writing unpopped…). I feel like I’ve been plopped in and out of so many cinematic universes and I don’t know how to maintain healthy attachments or process the fading of relationships in each world.

It’s probably not healthy or normal to think of experiences through a narrative lens but isn’t the reason you’re reading this because you want a digestible recounting of regular life?

Anyways…

The Worst Person in the World is so beautiful and I want to ask y’all if you think I’d make a good mom? I don’t even know if I want to be a mom (if you’re my child and reading this 20+ years in the future…I always knew that I wanted you lovebug!) but I have to ask…

The way TWPITW depicts the end of relationships is…in a word…devastating. It’s so brutal and honest without being violent and I don’t know how to feel about it because I’ve never “been” in a “relationship” outside of friendships I've made scenarios about in my head. As I said earlier when I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed and avoidant I blow up my personal life in ways that are confusing to everyone and ultimately leave the root issue unresolved. Why is it that I don't know how to make space for anger without running away?

I am obsessed with one scene in particular towards the middle/end of the movie where the main character takes shrooms and symbolically acts out with a tampon. If you’ve seen it please text me.

I would go into more detail about my thoughts on the film but I don’t want to spoil the experience for y’all if you want to watch. I really didn’t know what it was going to be about when I started watching which is something I never do and it honestly made the viewing very fun.

Summer is starting to sneak its way into Milwaukee and I feel like I’m ready to cum of age. Spelling and pun intended.

The only other major updates I have for y’all are that unpopped has a new Spotify playlist. I’m gonna start from scratch and save the chapters for myself unless people want me to release them as a serial again? I don’t know what way would be the most effective way to get my ass in front of the Google Doc (Kim Kardashian get off your ass and work voice).

I hope you fill your week with treats because as Rose Dyar says, “Sweetness delayed is sweetness denied.”

critchie x