Thotz
What’s the 4-1-1 hon?
Happy April 11th!
I’m sure there’s a TikTok somewhere that says this 411 is an angel number. The Chani Nicholas app says that my emoji for today is a flashing camera and I need to be prepared for the limelight. Am I finally going to become famous!? (Ohhh my god I finally finished The Lonely City by Olivia Laing and she has stunning thoughts on fame and loneliness in the internet age…scroll down to Readz for that delish dish).
There’s a full moon later this week… Fingies crossed that someone is smitten with me and comes out of the woodworks to sweep me off my feet!
This week has certainly been a fever dream.
I saw my parents, reunited with Elyse and Ana for a magical night, and took an overnight greyhound bus after bingeing Broad City with Emily Cumiskey. Dreams are literally so possible if you just believe in yourself.
So, I’m once again at a loss when it comes to the mundane process of keeping myself alive. Specifically when it comes to dietary habits. I keep delaying going to the grocery store and then once I make the trek to get there I don’t know what to buy!!!
Can y’all please comment what meals you’re making for yourself after a long day of clocking in and out?
I was obsessedicles with packing a PB&J, baby carrots, chips, and a seltzer (non-alcoholic unfortch) for lunch. My students were nawt fans. One student always scolds me for not packing broccoli. She said I would never grow big and strong if I didn’t eat more vegetables ASAP.
Which, she is actually so right. I guess I’m gonna get really into roasting vegetables?? (FYI she said salads don’t count as a vegetable…we’re gonna need to work around that).
Dinner is completely a toss-up. I usually make pasta, a Trader Joe’s frozen meal, order Jimmy John’s, or pray for something good to eat in the house I nanny at. On the best days, I have crockpot soup.
Outside of food, the main thing I’m thinking about is SUMMER. I am desperate for beach days and a sunburn.
It was such a gorgina day. The sun was shining and it didn’t set until after 7! The school had outdoor recess, I snuck out during lunch to pick up a 5 shot iced latte, and after work, Drake and I spent the afternoon making fun of a man playing with a drone by the lake. My only questions are: A) are drones legal? And B) how do I not have one yet??
Throwback to a year ago when I wrote about being back on the apps on the exact blog.
Well, readers, 365 days later and I am back on the apps in a really big way. Unfortunately for my matches, I am “unsexy” —Rose Dyar and “a prude” —Drake. I don’t have any evidence to disprove these inflammatory accusations outside of me saying oh please oh please don’t be true.
I feel like the warm weather has me hurting for some flirting and I cannot wait to be slutty in the sun.
If anyone has any advice or tips on how to go about reaching those goals that don’t involve a total lobotomy please LMK. I’m just as bored as you are by these outrageous promises of sexual promiscuity that climax at a Snapchat streak.
I’m interviewing for a job tomorrow so please if you’re the person interviewing me and checking out my socials you should totally hire me and promote this blog. I want to be a Disney Channel original a la Read It and Weep. Where’s my mediocre writing book deal!!! Ugh.
The job is to be a barista/bartender.
This means I’m going to have to look cute and flirt for a living (definitely gonna have to re-pierce my nose). Which is totally devastating and off-brand for me. Do I start wearing jeans…casually? That’s actually insane. Please someone do my eyeliner.
Basically, that’s all for this week. I register for classes tomorrow afternoon too. Hopefully, I’ll have a date to discuss sometime soon. If not, set me up with your friends or slide into my DMs.
Xo,
Critchie
Readz
The Lonely City by Olivia Laing
Believe it or not, I’m gonna include this book again this week JUST SO I can share quotes from it. Hope y’all enjoy them!
”It’s easy to see how the network might appeal to someone in the throes of chronic loneliness, with its pledge of connection, its beautiful, slippery promises of anonymity and control. You can look for company without the danger of being revealed or exposed, discovered wanting, seen in a state of need or lack. You can reach out or you can hide; you can lurk and you can reveal yourself, curated and refined.” (pp. 220-221).
‘People don’t want fifteen minutes of fame in their lifetime, they want it every night. The audience want to be the show.’ (p. 234).
“What is it about the pain of others? Easier to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Easier to refuse to make the effort of empathy, to believe instead that the stranger’s body on the sidewalk is simply a render ghost, an accumulation of coloured pixels, which winks out of existence when we turn our head, changing the channel of our gaze.” (p. 254).
I read other books this week but it’s nawt even worthette to go into much detail. I was charmed listening to Finlay Donovan is Killing It and spent all of Sunday finishing Civil Rights Activism in Milwaukee.
Mediaz
Okay not to be major flop vibes but I have not been as much of a TV girl as I was. I’ve gotten really into taking an edible and watching video essays about random ish. A few days ago my video of choice was about Gen Z humor and post-irony which definitely had me feeling equal parts entirely stupid and extremely galaxy brain. Depends on if I had bit my lip or not.
I also watched a video about pretty privilege because I think it’s so funny to “come out” as having pretty privilege. Like it’s actually so awesome if your politics are that you can recognize that your hot and leave the analysis there (obvi the person that created this video essay goes into deeper analysis and explores the racism/ableism/transphobia/classism that combines as pretty privilege). I want that person for president. I’m closeted ugly even though I’m able to pass as pretty in certain lighting (no overhead, only warm lamps).
Music-wise I kept watching TikToks with the Jack Harlow sound bite because I wanted “First Class” to be a bop and a half but it was just a flop. Devastatingly it is still on my weekly playlist. I need new music ASAP. Spring always makes me want to listen to hyperpop and dance so forward me any songs that fall under that genre.
Memez
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