Delilah leans back in her chair. Her face looks like she’s trying to figure out if it’s worth it to tell me. Her eyes look a little swollen.
“How long have you and Andrew been talking?” I’m trying to come off as nonchalant. How do girls usually talk about the people they’re dating? My hands are starting to shake from all the caffeine. Did I have breakfast?
“So, you know the whole backstory about him being a Triple X founder blah blah blah.” Delilah waves her hand around to dismiss this information. “But he’s actually way more than just a founder of Triple X. He’s like the president of the whole corporation.”
“Corporation?” Isn’t Triple X just a grassroots club? Sure, they’re opening up chapters around the country but that doesn’t make it a corporation.
“It’ll all make sense in like a week. Oh shit!” Delilah looks at her phone, “Something got fucked up with the plans for the meeting tonight. The representative from that vegan lube company can’t give a presentation anymore.”
Delilah starts texting furiously. I can’t think of anyone that would be able to replace a talk about vegan lubricants but if anyone could find a replacement in six-hours it would be Delilah.
“Who are you texting?” I ask.
“There’s this girl I have a lab with who started an OnlyFans last month. I’m thinking maybe she could talk about camming and sex work? I don’t know. No one else is answering my texts.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “Okay, so what do you want to know about Andrew again?”
“I just asked when you two started seeing each other. I feel like I met him before the meeting that one time and haven’t heard about him since.” Hopefully I don’t sound judgmental or insecure. I feel like Delilah hates when people are like that.
“Oh. Well, I was saying that he’s more than just a founder of Triple X. He and his buddies founded a business that’s supposed to corner the market on sexuality. Think porn apps, sex toys, in-person locations for group meetings, merchandise, that dating app Cherry, clothing, you name it. Triple X is the group meetings and they’re in the works for securing physical locations. They’re thinking that the dating app Cherry could host events for singles and open relationships at Triple X locations.”
These all seem like ideas that have already been invented? Plus this is a lot of business discussion and I’m not sure how this factors into Delilah’s love life.
“Sorry this is a lot of backstory. Also, this is all technically public information but don’t like, go out of your way to tell Lydia. I don’t need her writing an expose on us or anything.” Oh shit. Does she know? Can she read minds? There’s no way she has any idea that I’m undercover. She asked me to be fucking Frida Nipple. I have to play it cool. She probably sense something off.
Delilah slurps some more coffee and clears her throat, “Anyway once I was accepted to be Triple X’s president I had a lot of meetings with those three guys. We talked about Triple X’s game plan and what we wanted to happen with the whole thing. And Andrew and I started hanging out more one on one you know? We’d go to different sex shops in the area and he’s super easy to talk to. Like there isn’t any pressure to be anyone or anything around him really.”
I can’t help myself and blurt out, “Does he wear a suit every time you see him?”
“Oh my god shut up!” Delilah laughs. “You’re such a bitch.”
“How old is he?”
“Okay, didn’t realize Frida Nipple was such a puritan. He’s only like twenty-nine or something.”
“Can I confirm that? Let me just ask him if he’s ever owned a physical copy of Playboy. Maybe I’ll ask him what songs were popular when he was in high school.” Words keep pushing out of me and I don’t even mean them.
“Erin you’re fucking annoying.” Delilah stifles a laugh. “All I know for sure is that Andrew graduated from Pioneer at some point in the twenty-first century.”
“Was he held back in high school?” I bite my tongue. “He could’ve graduated in 2000?”
“I’m gonna stop you right there. I have to get going anyway. See you at the meeting tonight? I think that OnlyFans girl is going to be the keynote tonight.” Delilah packs up her mini backpack and waves goodbye before leaving Braxton’s.
Lydia texts me. Hey! Do you want to have a picnic with Michelle, Cooper, and I? We’re gonna set up by the lake.
Do y’all want me to bring anything? I hope they don’t need anything. I don’t really feel like grabbing sparkling water at the store. Maybe I should just run to Whole Foods and pick up strawberries or something.
If you want to! We’ve got chocolates, a cheese tray, and some apple slices. It’s more of a charcuterie vibe than an actual picnic so if you’re actually hungry I would suggest you pick something up.
*
“Hey Erin! You look so cute!” Michelle waves while sitting up.
I’m just in a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt they gave out last year for Earth Day. The front is screen printed with a globe that’s on fire. Not exactly an uplifting message but it certainly sets off my ecological dread. I think I remember seeing posters around campus that asked people to wear these t-shirts and post #SaveTheEarth on their social media accounts. Not sure how giving out cotton t-shirts was good for the environment but it was free and I’m not gonna complain.
“Thanks Michelle, you look cute too. I like your shoes.” I reply. Michelle is in a loose sundress, a flannel, and platform white Converse.
Cooper nods in my direction, “What’s up Erin. How’s your day been?”
“Let her sit down before you give her the third degree.” Lydia punches Cooper’s arm. “Let me make you a plate Erin. We had to put everything away because the bugs were getting insane. I forget how humid it is by the lake.” Lydia grabs a small paper plate and prepares an assortment of berries, brie, Wheat Thins, and slices of cheddar.
“Did no one bring any grapes?” I tease.
“Oh my god we’re fucking idiots. Who has a picnic without grapes?” Cooper clutches his hand over his heart and collapses backwards. “Lydia--fill my pockets with rocks and drop me off in the lake. I can’t believe I’ve failed us in such an unforgivable way.”
We all laugh. It feels like the end of last year again. When we all had big plans for the summer and senior year. It’s only been a few months since those moments were everything we knew, but already I feel so much older.
“Okay, you’re being way too dramatic Cooper.” Michelle rolls her eyes. “Speaking of drama...Erin you have to tell us everything that you’ve found out about Triple X. The editorial is going live tomorrow and I have been absolutely dying to hear your inside take.”
“I can’t reveal anything just yet.” Coincidentally I’m not sure I have anything to disclose, but it seems more interesting to err on the side of mystery.
“What a tease!” Cooper laughs. “Can’t you tell us at least one thing that they’ve had you do. Delilah got you to steal that vibrator! Is that like a hazing thing?”
My face flushes, “Oh my god I totally forgot about that. No, that wasn’t hazing. That’s just Delilah being Delilah.”
“Classic Delilah,” Lydia whispers.
Right after Lydia closes her mouth my phone goes off. Delilah’s texted me.
Have you used Cherry since I made your account? Andrew and the guys want me to find more beta testers. They said there’s been some weird glitches? Have you been having any problems?
I hold my phone up. I haven’t gone on Cherry. Not since the night Delilah and I almost kissed. Maybe I should try and secure a date. It’s not like I’m doing much else. It seems like all I do anymore is write as Frida Nipple and get coffee with Delilah. Maybe it would even be fun to go on a date!
I haven’t gone on Cherry in a while. I can definitely try to get back on and record any glitches I see.
“Who ya texting?” Michelle’s eyes glow with whimsy.
“Delilah. She wants me to be a beta tester for this dating app.” Fuck. Are people supposed to know about Cherry yet?
“Dating app? That sounds juicy.” Cooper smiles.
That’d be so sexy if you could record any glitches you come across. Also, I need 2 talk 2 you about next week’s Frida Nipple. Can you come over right now? Andrew thinks you should go on a date using Cherry and write about it!! Doesn’t that sound soo fun??
My mind is running all over the place. I don’t know if I should respond to Cooper or Delilah or gather my thoughts. Before Lydia can tease me too I blurt out, “I think I have to go. Something just came up.”
That sounds like so much fun! I’ll head over right now.
“What? Where do you have to go? You just got here? Are you sure you’re not hungry? You’ve barely touched your food.” I need Lydia to stop giving me the fucking third degree. I want to tell her I can’t even think around her anymore without her saying all the ways I’m doing it wrong.
Instead of explaining myself I pack my bag and rush away. I can hear Cooper whisper, “Is she okay?”
*
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